Children are the innocent casualties of  too many family break-ups.  Sometimes, the effect on them comes years later. Hostile break-ups may have unforeseen consequences for children many, many years down the line.

Never fight in front of your children

Before you start arguing in front of your children. Before you instruct others to write letters that will be ignored at best and inflame things at worst. Before you decide that taking him/her to court will help your children, just think of this:

Fighting makes you want to be so sad

Kurt Cobain founded the American rock band Nirvana in 1987 when he was 2o years old. In 1974 his parents divorced. It must have been terrible for Kurt.  In 1976, as a 9 year old, he wrote on his bedroom wall: “I hate Mom. I hate Dad. Dad hates Mom. Mom hates Dad. It just makes you want to be so sad”.

Suicide

Nirvana were the biggest and most critically acclaimed rock band of their generation. Yet Kurt was so sad he killed himself by gunshot in 1994 aged 27.

You’re the only parents they have

If you find it hard to agree over your children, never fight. Remember, you’re the only parents they have. Ask a family mediator to help prevent a problem from turning into a disagreement, and a disagreement from turning into a war. Wars always have casualties.

I am Stephen G Anderson. I am a professional mediator.

Stephen G Anderson, family mediator

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