Parents going through separation or divorce often come to mediation for help to sort out arrangements for their children and to work out a financial settlement to allow them to get on with their lives. The priority for most is to do what’s in the best interests of their children.

Two of the most pressing questions parents want to discuss are: “Where are the children going to live?” and “How will they share their time between us?” Making those decisions is often hard. Parents find it especially difficult because they don’t know what effect the arrangements they make will have on their children long term.

One of the largest studies on the link between shared parenting and psychosomatic problems in children was done in Sweden led by Malin Bergström at the Centre for Health Equity Studies (CHESS), Stockholm University/Karolinska Institutet.

The data is based on a national survey which invited all 12 and 15 year old children in Sweden to take part. It was conducted in schools and 147,839 children, 71% of those eligible, took part.

Eight questions were asked: Had the child in the past six months

• had difficulties concentrating?
• had difficulties sleeping?
• suffered from headaches?
• suffered from stomach ache?
• felt tense?
• felt sad?
• felt dizzy?
• had little appetite?

The categories of family arrangements were:

(a) living in a nuclear family (always living with mum and dad together)
(b) living approximately equally with mum and dad
(c) living mostly with one parent
(d) living solely with one parent

The results:

1. Children in nuclear families reported fewest psychosomatic problems.
2. Those who shared their time approximately equally between their parents’ homes had slightly more problems.
3. Those who lived mostly with one parent had more problems still.
4. Those who lived exclusively with one parent reported most problems.

To live in two homes is possibly never going to be stress free, but what the results of this survey appear to show is that this stress could be outweighed by the positive effects of having a close relationship with both parents. Children expressed this in interviews saying that having close relationships with both parents was more important than avoiding the hassles of living equally with both parents.

This study may offer some reassurance to parents whose children are sharing their time with both parents in a two-home arrangement. It provides an insight for those of us working to support parents who are making arrangements for their children whether in mediation or elsewhere.

The report, including tables of the results, was published online on 28 April 2015, and is available here.

Elisabet Anderson, FMC family mediator.

After completing my law degree, I trained as a solicitor and worked as a family and civil litigation lawyer in London. I then took a career break to raise my children. From 2004, I worked in primary school education teaching a variety of subjects, most recently French. At the beginning of 2014, I returned to family dispute resolution as a mediator. I am a member of the Family Mediators Association (FMA).