So you still think the family court has the the answer to you parenting problems? As a, now non-practising, solicitor with over 20 years experience,  I have never come across a family court dispute where the conflict between parents was resolved. But I can tell you’re still a little sceptical. Surely, you are thinking, if it doesn’t work, why do so many people choose to go there? Because it’s the cultural norm which dates back to the times of Henry II. Not very modern and certainly not scientific.

Family court refuses to make contact order

“This is what happens when the system fails …” So said the self-representing father of a 14-year-old girl at the centre of a 13 year long family court case which ended in 2014 with t refusing to make an order requiring the girl to see him. And who would disagree?

What does it say for our justice system that eight judges, eighty family court appearances and £1 million in legal aid fees went into attempting to help this family?

Family court process cost £1.000,000

If there is a better example of how litigation does not address conflict then I do not know of one. I’m not even going to suggest that a privately funded parent would not have spent £1 million of their own money: if the Legal Aid Agency approved the spending then it must have thought it had some value other than to the lawyers involved.

How does the father feel (I think we can guess)? How does the mother – with her paranoid personality disorder and other mental health problems – feel? And what about a young girl exposed to parental conflict likened by the judge to “toxic radiation”.

Can children recover from parental litigation?

Will any of them ever be able to recover? I would say probably not, unless they get some help very different to that offered by the adversarial legal process.

So if the system failed, what were the alternatives? There are many different professionals who might have been able to offer something different. While I do not know the background to the case, it sounds like it was crying out for a combination of family systems therapy, specialist counselling and mediation.

“Legal process” is not what families need

This was a complex tangle of mental health, communication and relationship matters and, as such, the legal process was and is not geared up to address them. It needs a different approach. An approach which is integrative and systemic, but not the legal process.

£1 million is 11% of the total spend on publicly funded family mediation for the most recent last tax year. 11%, think about it. It certainly doesn’t help those of us who would like to persuade the government that clients who qualify financially for legal aid should have access to legal advice in certain circumstances.

Link to original story in The Daily Telegraph

I am Stephen G Anderson. I am a professional mediator.

Stephen G Anderson, family mediator

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