Separation, Divorce & Dissolution
Separation doesn’t have to be difficult, let’s help you find an agreement that works for everyone.
What is separation, divorce and dissolution mediation?
When you’re breaking up, it’s never going to be easy for you or your children. It will be easier, though, if the person you’re breaking up with can hear what you are saying and you can hear them.
Choose mediation and you’ll work with mediators who help people communicate better. Better communication is the key to finding solutions to nearly all problems and disputes in all types of situations. It keeps you in control of the outcome, is quicker and less expensive than the main alternatives. Mediation will help you look forward to a better recovery and a more certain future.
What are the benefits of mediation when you’re going through a separation, divorce or dissolution?
Having previously practiced as solicitors, we have real insight into the court system. We saw for ourselves how the legal system doesn’t help those going through relationship breakdown. People who are already emotionally fragile are encouraged to fight each other. This affects not only them but their wider families too. There are usually no winners except the legal system itself.
Knowing that there must be a better alternative, we retrained as mediators. And finding that mediation works, we stopped practising as solicitors. As full-time, accredited mediators we now have thousands of hours of mediation experience behind us.
When you call Start Mediation, the phone will be answered by a mediator, not an administrator. With our legal and mediation experience, we will quickly help you decide whether mediation could help you. We are experts in online mediation having been the first mediation service to offer it routinely in 2012. So, wherever you are, Start is the best place for you to begin sorting out your future.
Common problems we can help with in separation, divorce and dissolution situations
- Ensuring you are heard.
- Providing a level playing field for discussion about finances and children.
- Getting the timing of the divorce or dissolution right.
- Explaining the court process where relevant.
- Understanding the law.
What is a MIAM?
You don’t need a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to apply for a divorce or dissolution. But if you want to apply to court about arrangements for children or about finances or property, you must usually attend one first. A MIAM is also the first step if you want to mediate.
It’s a private, confidential 60-minute meeting with one of our accredited family mediators, on your own, at our meeting rooms in Ipswich or online by Zoom.
To book your MIAM, fill in our online form.
Frequently asked questions
Some of the questions people ask us most often about divorce and dissolution.
Do I need a MIAM to get divorced?
No. You don’t need a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to apply for a divorce or dissolution. A MIAM is needed before you apply to court about finances, or about arrangements for children. Many people use mediation to sort these out alongside their divorce.
Is what we agree legally binding?
For finances after separation, there are three stages.
Mutual proposals. In mediation, you reach mutual proposals: what you have both agreed, once there has been full disclosure and you have each thought about what it will mean for you. These are not legally binding on their own. At the end of mediation, we can write them up for you. There is usually a separate charge for this.
A signed agreement. A lawyer can turn your proposals into a single document that records what you have agreed and sets out the wording a judge needs to approve it. It’s often called a consent order. Once you have both signed it, you are each expected to keep to it, and the court will normally hold you to it, provided neither of you has hidden anything or given false information.
A court order. Your agreement becomes a court order once a judge approves it. This can only happen as part of your divorce or dissolution proceedings. The court will typically approve it without anyone having to attend a hearing.
For arrangements for children, many parents don’t need a court order. They agree a parenting plan and keep to it. If you want your arrangements made into a court order, a lawyer can help you apply.
Will the outcome be fair?
“Fair” is a word used a great deal when relationships end. People are often told that what they are asking for is fair, and so what the other person is asking for seems unfair to them. And when feelings are running high, it’s natural to see things from one side, and to feel that what happened in the relationship should be reflected in the outcome. What feels fair to one person rarely feels fair to the other.
Mediation itself is fair-minded. We are neutral, the process is impartial, and we treat each of you with respect. But rather than aim for an outcome we call fair, we help you reach an agreement you can both accept, made with a clear understanding of your options.
Part of that is understanding the law, and the kinds of order a court can make, so you can see where your proposals sit. We also make sure each of you has the information you need, so that you can make informed decisions and neither of you agrees to something without understanding it.
It’s worth remembering that even a judge’s decision can feel unfair to one or both people. Fairness is rarely as simple as it sounds.
If you want an opinion on whether a proposal is right for you, you can speak to a financial planner or a lawyer.
Can mediation take place online?
Yes. We have mediated online since 2012, and Stephen Anderson was the first family mediator in the UK to offer online mediation routinely. Online meetings take place by Zoom, with everyone on screen together.
Online mediation can suit people who live in different parts of the country or abroad, who find it hard to travel, or who need to fit meetings around caring for children or their working hours. We decide with you whether meetings take place in person at our meeting rooms in Ipswich, or online.
For mediation, you need a laptop, desktop computer or tablet with a camera, propped up rather than handheld. A phone is fine for a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). Our guide to mediating online explains how to prepare.