Why should we turn to mediation first when we need help to resolve differences, problems and disagreements?

Mediation offers  much more than you may think

Sometimes when I speak to a prospective client they’ll explain the reason for their call finishing with something like “That’s why we’ve ended up in mediation,” or ” I need mediation so I can go to court.” To me, those comments have slightly negative undertones. I get it, but I’d like mediation to be seen as a positive step to achieving a goal. A way of finding a solution, rather than something that has to be gone through.

So, why mediation?

Before getting to the “why?” it helps to understand the “what?”. What is it? In a nutshell, mediation is a way of helping people find solutions, their own solutions, to a problem. There’s often an audible sigh of relief when they hear that mediation doesn’t need to be a stepping stone to court. That things can be resolved by talking them through rather than fighting them out. The icing on the cake is that they, whatever the issue might be, retain control. They make their own decisions.

“I wish there’d been mediation when my parents were divorcing”

It was Family Mediation Awareness Week recently, and I read more than once that children of divorce (now adults) wished their parents had gone through mediation. The reason given being that mediation would probably have helped their parents’ communication and their parenting relationship. It’s not a small ask for a separating couple to change their relationship from a failing intimate one to a successful parenting only relationship. Unlike court, mediation can help parents improve their communication . A mediator can also help parents create a parenting plan.

Other parenting help

Parents sometimes worry about telling their children what’s going on. How, when and what should they tell them? Should they speak to them together or separately etc. We can help them have a conversation about that. Parents going through separation and divorce always affects children, and one thing that can help them is knowing that their mum and dad are working together to sort things out.

So, why should we turn to mediation?

I’ve just picked out two or three reasons why mediation is often a better way of resolving problems. To find out if your situation might be helped by mediation, I would recommend calling a mediator and having a chat to find out more. We can be reached on 01473 487427.

Elisabet Anderson, FMC accredited family mediator.